im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
