What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
