Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
