If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
