to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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