do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
sex in a hospital.. check
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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