I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
