Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize