A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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