two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
