So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My balls are so social today.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
