Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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