thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Randomize
