For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
