You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
