The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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