woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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