Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
