All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
