3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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