What did we do last night that was yellow?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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