About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The adults are the big ones right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
