it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
