I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
