i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
