Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
