So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
