Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
