So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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