i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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