I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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