I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
