I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Nicole vs. Life
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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