i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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