My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
