I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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