if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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