why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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