when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
