when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize