he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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