I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
