I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
