Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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