I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize