First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
