GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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