How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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