garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
