they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
