I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
