I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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