hotel room ftw
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
