apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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