Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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