Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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