Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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