I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
