i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
