that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
