I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
