The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
