I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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