walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
