just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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